broken pieces

i don't know if it's the amazing weather, or the copious amounts of dayquil in my system,
but i'm feeling rather peaceful/reflective/grateful right now.

i'm chilling on the couch in my pjs.
every window is wide open.
cuddled in a debra-made flannel blanket, pondering on life.

it seems like there's been an extra dose of turmoil in the world lately. so many people are going through really hard trials right now. so much uncertainty. hurting. families struggling. earthquakes & tsunamis & let's not even talk about libya.

i have personal worries & fears about the future. finances. spiritual safety. our physical health. preparedness.

i look at the trials people endure & i say to myself, "i could never do it, i couldn't handle it."

i talk about myself & my "issues" a lot on this blog. and sometimes i get embarrassed, because my [problems] seem so trite compared to the unimaginable things others are going through.

but the truth as i see it is:
we are all fragile in one way or another.
and our broken pieces teach us things.

i have spent the last couple of years doing some deep self-introspection.
i can safely say: i know myself.
i know my strengths & i am also {very aware} of my broken pieces.

i am no longer ashamed of those broken pieces because i know that they are helping me become a better person. i have learned about my savior & his grace because it's what is healing my heart.

learning through those broken pieces: the depths of depression, self-hate, insecurity....has taught me one profound truth.

i can endure.
we CAN endure.

there is a plan for each of us.
and that plan includes toil & adversity & sadness & pain.

i think a lot of my inner-hurt is associated with missing where i came from.
my spirit knows that there is more than this world.
there is something greater than we know waiting for us.

and looking through that lens of perspective makes me so grateful and at peace.

i know heavenly father is watching over us, even though sometimes it seems like life is too cruel for that to be so.

all we have to do is get up each morning & look to god-and live.
things have a way of working out.