going at my own pace

my brain spends a lot of it’s time
daydreaming.

thinking of ideas, thoughts, projects,
possibilities, goals, plans, dreams.

problem is:
lottsa times my energy level,
limited mommy-schedule & resources/capabilities
don’t exactly match up to my vision.

the fabric remains on the shelf.
the blogs have yet to be written.
the photos are still disorganized & the bed isn’t made.
the etsy shop hasn’t opened.
the friends still need to be called back.

i spent my weekend feeling frustrated by the fact that life has TOO much to offer.

GOOD things.

while i know that there is nothing in the world i’d rather be doing than raising my two beauties - sometimes i still feel over-stimulated by the outside world & feel pulled in five thousand different unnecessary directions.

i feel foolish when i’m constantly scraping by on deadlines.

i sometimes compare my abilities to others & question how so-and-so can always look like a million bucks, or how she always manages to be “perfect.”

how do they do it all???

***

monday i had the unique and spontaneous-ish opportunity of assisting a fellow relief society sister with some simple errands. while we were visiting, she said something that has stayed with me & i’ll probably always carry in my heart.

“did ya know angie, the Lord says, we should just go at our own pace.”

the truth is, those words were exactly what i needed to be reminded of at that very second…like, tender mercy style.

i recalled the scripture she spoke of:
“...for it is not requisite that a man should run faster than he has strength. And again, it is expedient that he should be diligent, that thereby he might win the prize...”
-mosiah 4:27

i immediately felt an insane amount of love for this lady that i barely even knew! i felt the spirit sweetly testify of the Lord’s love for her, me, & all his children.

he loves us all the same.
we are all so, so different.
we can’t all do the same things.
we all have different stories and capacities.
different circumstances.
different tests.
different talents.
different challenges.
different missions.

heavenly father doesn’t love us for [what] we accomplish,
he just loves us.

after our morning together i went home and underlined that passage [in pink] and vowed to myself & my God to {try} ever harder to be diligent & obey that counsel.