i always did love rollercoasters

{via}

i am a deep feeling person.
i am an extremely emotional person.

i mean, i think we've established that
over the last 964 posts on this blog, haven't we?

to quote this hilarious girl, "if i'm not between a 3 and a 7 on the emotional scale...i'm crying"....haha, it's true!

my oversensitivity has been both my gift & my demise in life.

i've gone through days of drama.
and days of clarity.
times i was proud of who i am.
and days i've really struggled.

and let's get real:
i still have my highs & lows...

but the rollercoaster ride is becoming a little less terrifying,
a little more in control...
with {just enough} thrill and unexpected turns and twists,
to be exciting & leave me wanting more.

it's true that i've spent a lot of wasted time wishing i were something else.
i've spent a lot of wasted time punishing myself for being less than my expected standard.
i've spent a lot of wasted time fretting & worrying & stressing & obsessing.
i've spent a lot of wasted time feeling jealous and frustrated.

i'd say it's a shame.
but it's really not to me.

through painful moments,
i've gained spiritual strength and perspective.

truth is,
i am human.
so are you.
so is the president of the united states.
so is the drunk guy panhandling on jefferson & 1st.
we are all children of god.

we are all beautiful, divine, spiritual creations of an all-knowing, all-loving god.
and we all make mistakes, too.
we all have fears.
we all have "stuff."
some peoples' "stuff" is more noticeable & obvious than other peoples' "stuff."
but we all have it.

my hope for this week,
[and the rest of my life for that matter]
is that i can keep my lens focused in that perspective.

because i am human, i am going to fall short.
because you are human, you are too.
*but, i can forgive myself & others.

{caution: scripture time!}
For behold, are we not all beggars? Do we not all depend upon the same Being, even God, for all the substance which we have, for both food and raiment, and for gold, and for silver, and for all the riches which we have of every kind?

i love that, because i believe we do:
we all rely on the same god, who loves us each completely & individually.

it is him who lessens the fear, and smooths the rough spots & holds my hand through the scary parts of the rollercoaster.

and i've learned, the more i seek his support, the less frightening and more exhilarating the ride!