ya know? - those moments, those moments when at the most random of times, you *simultaneously* feel a. so deeply grateful & content b. a little bit sad
thankful beyond measure that you have this amazing gift of a child but! this heart-wrenching bit of sadness that it's all going by too fast.
i had one of those moments just the other day, while chlo' was brushing her teeth & i was sitting on the ground changing livy's diaper.
i thought, when did chloe's curly hair grow so long? & when did liv grow into a freakin' size 5 diaper?
time is fleeting. and i love 'em so much, that truth hurts sometimes.
that's why, those moments- they inspire me to live consciously every single second.
to savor this time i have with my little ones, while i help them to sprout their little wings so they can eventually fly away from me to experience those moments of their own.
chicken pillows are a family favorite. we have them at birthdays a lot'cause usually the birthday boy/girlgets to pick what their favorite meal is. so what better time to make themthan when we're celebratingthe birth of sweet bella?{my girl coree had her baby!} here's the recipe.they are super easy & sinfully delish.{the ingredients are tweaked a bit to my liking}
1 can cooked/shredded chicken [costco can style].... or you can just do 2 cups boneless/skinless cooked/shredded chicken
1 8 oz thing of cream cheese
1/2 cube butter
seasoned bread crumbs
a bowl of melted butter
1 bag frozen rolls
mix together shredded chicken, softened cream cheese, and butter. {*add a little bit of salt+pepper} place about a tablespoon of filing inside each roll and then dip the filled roll into some melted butter and then into bread crumbs. let rolls rise for about an hour, or until large. bake at 375 for 25-30 minutes.
*you can use cream of chicken soup, milk & pepper heated up as gravy...or your own gravy....
i know {i know}... i've been posting a lot [too many?] "deep thoughts by angiedunn" posts lately, but! i just had to share this awesome shirt i just got from bustedtees.
i had to buy it, because not only was it on sale, but it's totally me.
and this is why:
since high school, i have given my family specific instructions:
*when i die, i want a green participation ribbon adorning my casket- representative of the happy, yet extremely average life i lived.
you see: growing up i was never the blue ribbon winner.
track & field day stressed me out & then all i had to show for it, was a lousy green ribbon.
i have a trunk full of green participation ribbons. ribbons that added up to a pretty crappy self esteem.
somewhere down the road, i decided to embrace my mediocrity & be proud of being averagely-average.
*i'd sport my green ribbon with pride.
{i still do.}
but recently, i've changed my mind about what i want that green ribbon to represent.
instead of representing a life of mediocrity,
i want it to represent an ordinary life, filled with extraordinary love.
***
my new motto: {compliments of one of my heroes, sister hinckley}
"i don't want to drive up to the pearly gates in a shiny sports car, wearing beautifully, tailored clothes, my hair expertly coiffed, and with long, perfectly manicured fingernails.
i want to drive up in a station wagon that has mud on the wheels from taking kids to scout camp.
i want to be there with a smudge of peanut butter on my shirt from making sandwiches for a sick neighbors children.
i want to be there with a little dirt under my fingernails from helping to weed someone's garden.
i want to be there with children's sticky kisses on my cheeks and the tears of a friend on my shoulder.
i want the lord to know i was really here and that i really lived."
and seriously, could i love her any more? no. absolutely not. *she's total heaven.
then i tackled dishes. as in, most of the dishes from the weekend.
as i was loading, i had major flashbacks to doin' family dishes with my dad.
i'd think something wasn't going to fit in the dishwasher, and i could {almost} hear my pops say, "oh ye of little faith."
he always used to say that if we didn't think something was going to fit.
i tetris-ed everything in & didn't have to hand-wash one dish. (:
i scrubbed bathrooms, vacuumed, dusted, did laundry...ya know....mom stuff.
and jammed to my current favorite group found in the chill-genre of my itunes. [the weepies]
i worked on a project that has been in the works for eh.... ten years or so. {no joke, fer reals 10 years.} i'm gonna finish & i'll share soon.
spent some moments playing petshops with curly sue. {a daily ritual around these parts.}
and my night just ended as i viewed *via hulu, the last {tear} episode {tear} of the tonight show w/ conano'brien.
"nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. but if you work really hard and you're kind, amazing things will happen." -conano'brien
it's never been my favorite thing- ya know: baking with children.
call me horrible. {go ahead}
the flour everywhere, the insisting on cracking the eggs & then not knowing if a piece of shell fell in, the germy licking of fingers, the constant, "let me do it, let me do it, let me do it." even though you.are.letting.them.do.it!
*it's just not my corner of fun, ya know?
BUT chloe wanted to make cookies. and i love her.
{so we did.}
and we really enjoyed ourselves. [didn't we chlo'?]
that is: until we realized we had no vanilla or baking soda. {small details.}
i'm in one of those moods, ya know- where the sun is shining bright, my heart is over flowing with gratitude, & this fave is playing on repeat in my mind.
i love moments like these when it all becomes so clear...
I’ve been tryin’ to give myself a break & it’s totally liberating.
Funny how the Lord can fix everything, huh?
For me the journey is slow & not-so-steady, line upon line syle. I make so many mistakes & let fear so easily beset me.
The atonement fixes all of that, everyday.
It’s completely amazing.
For the first time seriously in. my. life, I am finally finding no reason to compare myself to others. There’s no point! God has helped me see that in a different light the past few weeks, and I am so thankful.
We are all beautifully unique. Born with varied circumstances, qualities, bodies, families, talents, struggles and gifts.
I believe that before we came here, we accepted different life-fulls of challenges to meet, burdens to carry, and crap to endure. I think we wanted to come to this earth, like, really bad. And God has given us a perfect plan to help us succeed.
Heavenly Father loves ALL his children the same. You, me, everyone.
There’s no standard you have to reach for his love. No mold you have to fit into perfectly. No bread making contest you have to win. No craft project that you have to make the cutest. No english paper you have to spell everything correctly on. [Thank heaven for that one.] No goal you have to meet at work. No size of jeans you have to fit into. No degree you have to have framed on your wall.
He just really loves us all the same.
And because he loves us so much, we can trust him completely.
“Look unto me in every thought, doubt not, fear not.”
{D&C 6:36}
I’m finding that’s the most powerful tool in the shed these days. I’m not very good at usin’ it yet, but I’m striving to really do that….look unto Him in every. thought. doubt not. fear not.
His mercy is real, guys. I know it ‘cause I feel it. And I’ll share it because it is what makes me happy & keeps me sane.
Without him I am a little crazy,
but with him I feel truly loved, creative, whole, healed and calm.
